Look I'm not trying to be ugly but I gotta tell you if your fat and again I'm not trying to hurt any ones feeling. I'm Fat but here's the thing, you cant be fat , mean and stupid. I'll give you two, fat and stupid, mean and stupid, you know what I'm saying. But God damn to be all three, that's just wrong.
A waiter came to me with a guacamole dip appetizer that he was bringing back from a table. When I asked him what s up? He tells me that his table didn't think this was made with avocados or something. I took a deep breath, wiped with one quick motion, my bare hand down my face, exhaled and went to the table. I rounded the corner and there she was, fat lady. I approached the table with caution and said that I understand they didn't like the dip. With spitting speech she said " its not dip, don't call it that. The waiter called it that and its not a dip!" I apologized to the fat lady that just advanced to fat and mean. Then as though I hadn't had enough of her pleasantness, I asked what the problem was. She said and I'm not lying " it looked like you smashed up avocados threw in some tomato and onion mixed it up , slopped on a plate and call it guacamole!" still needing more abuse I asked if I could get them another diii I mean appetizer. "hell no" she belched. I walked from the table glad to be away but couldn't help but to feel sorry for the man that was accompanying her. I thought he must have been relived when I took the food from the table so he didn't have to watch her eat.
Recipe for Guacamole
Meat from three ripe avocados
two small diced ripe tomatoes
two small diced onions
juice from one lemon
splash of Tabasco
pinch of salt
pinch of black pepper
In a medium mixing bowl muddle (smash) the avocado fold in all ingredients (throw in tomato and onion mix it up) Scoop onto a bed of leaf lettuce (slopped on a plate) served with freshly fried tortilla chips and call it guacamole.
DING DING DING you are officially fat, mean and stupid and thats just wrong.
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