Anyone got any ideas on how to make some people understand that its not an option but an obligation to tip properly. If you don't have enough money to tip, you shouldn't go out. To me, if you stiff a server for no reason, its the same as stealing. Not only did you not tip but you also have stolen the time in that seat that the server depends on making money from. The penalty should be great. Public humiliation first, jail time second and finally the guillotine. Advice and or religious propaganda is not considered a tip!
One of my servers came to me and showed me the tip left at her table. It was a piece of paper that had printed across the top "MEMO" then hand written it said "I have gone to my fathers house and prepared a place for you. Will come back for you soon. Please be ready." signed Jesus Christ. So I'm asking, what in the world is she to do with this. First, blasphemy on who ever left this note in his name. Second, who ever left this to the young waitress has freaked her out leading here to believe that maybe a creeper is out there and is going to kill her. Last, this note won't put gas in her car! As if this wasn't tragic enough to the young waitress, I felt it necessary to text her after she went home. The text read "Hey its J.C. you ready? I'm out front. Come on I ain't got all night!" Now I know that the text wouldn't put gas in her car either, but it was at least kinda funny.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
How did I get on this path?
Some times when I get home from work I kick off my shoes, throw on some sweats, open a beer and as I drink that golden amber beverage I have to ask myself how the hell did I get to where I am. Where was it that I jumped on the path that lead me here. I mean I think I had the normal jobs that a normal kid would have growing up, or did I.
The first job I had was a paper boy. Normal enough, a kid on a bike tossing papers to the porches. If only having fifteen customers spread out over twenty five miles is normal. That didn't last long. Then there was the amusement park. What kid wouldn't want to work at an amusement park? This amusement park was small and set way out in the country. The kind of amusement park that the Ferris Wheel comes off its axis and rolls into the lake killing a few and hurting more. My job was in the gaming area, I was in the dart the balloon booth. I would collect money, hand out darts, replace the popped balloons and hand out prizes. There was an air tank off to the side that would fill the balloons and a three inch spike in the counter to tie off the balloons. NOTHING TO THIS JOB! Third day on the job, all was fine when these drunk people came by and decided that my booth was there game. The drunk men came to the counter and demanded the darts. They were throwing them as though they were wanted to hit me. I sat up on the counter to get out of their way and I sat right on the three inch spike. I ended up at the nurses station, got a tetanus shot and made that my last day. There was a string of meaningless jobs, then finally the job that was the foot of the path leading me here.
I was nineteen and I decided that I needed to make something of myself. I packed my bags and left Ohio heading for L.A. With big dreams I was ready for the change in my life. Lots happened the first couple of months, that will have to be other blogs. But the job that's important to this story was a waiter job in an affluent area called Westwood. Stars would come down out of the hills and come to this burger joint where I worked. The only rule that stands out to work here was that you had to treat the stars as normal people and never, never, ask them for autographs. I had worked there a while and always couldn't wait to go to work. I loved that job! One day I went in and a booth of mine was seated. As I rounded the corner I almost peed myself. There sat two Hudson brothers, I don't know their first names, sitting with them was a very pregnant Goldie Hawn. God I love this woman. Anyway that whole day became a blur because of her. I will never forget that day, it definitely was a highlight to the job that was to become a career. Its funny how the exact same moment in two different peoples life mean such extremely different things. I will never forget that day, were as she had forgotten by the time she got home. She later gave birth, two days before my twentieth birthday, to a bouncing baby girl named Kate Hudson. Wow that puts into perspective my age, but also shows where my love for the job stems from.
The first job I had was a paper boy. Normal enough, a kid on a bike tossing papers to the porches. If only having fifteen customers spread out over twenty five miles is normal. That didn't last long. Then there was the amusement park. What kid wouldn't want to work at an amusement park? This amusement park was small and set way out in the country. The kind of amusement park that the Ferris Wheel comes off its axis and rolls into the lake killing a few and hurting more. My job was in the gaming area, I was in the dart the balloon booth. I would collect money, hand out darts, replace the popped balloons and hand out prizes. There was an air tank off to the side that would fill the balloons and a three inch spike in the counter to tie off the balloons. NOTHING TO THIS JOB! Third day on the job, all was fine when these drunk people came by and decided that my booth was there game. The drunk men came to the counter and demanded the darts. They were throwing them as though they were wanted to hit me. I sat up on the counter to get out of their way and I sat right on the three inch spike. I ended up at the nurses station, got a tetanus shot and made that my last day. There was a string of meaningless jobs, then finally the job that was the foot of the path leading me here.
I was nineteen and I decided that I needed to make something of myself. I packed my bags and left Ohio heading for L.A. With big dreams I was ready for the change in my life. Lots happened the first couple of months, that will have to be other blogs. But the job that's important to this story was a waiter job in an affluent area called Westwood. Stars would come down out of the hills and come to this burger joint where I worked. The only rule that stands out to work here was that you had to treat the stars as normal people and never, never, ask them for autographs. I had worked there a while and always couldn't wait to go to work. I loved that job! One day I went in and a booth of mine was seated. As I rounded the corner I almost peed myself. There sat two Hudson brothers, I don't know their first names, sitting with them was a very pregnant Goldie Hawn. God I love this woman. Anyway that whole day became a blur because of her. I will never forget that day, it definitely was a highlight to the job that was to become a career. Its funny how the exact same moment in two different peoples life mean such extremely different things. I will never forget that day, were as she had forgotten by the time she got home. She later gave birth, two days before my twentieth birthday, to a bouncing baby girl named Kate Hudson. Wow that puts into perspective my age, but also shows where my love for the job stems from.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Why a Spoon?
I wish I could go a day with out dealing with people that have no class, but pretend they do. I mean whats the point. You either have it or you don't. Talking with your mouth full and complaining about things, so you don't have to pay what you owe, will instantly shut down your scam. Not that you haven't already been figured out the second you came through the door. If I wonder if you have a mirror at home and know how to use it, the class thing is out the window. Nothing like being called to a table and there you sit with that look on your face as though you too could smell that smell inside your trailer. Then you speak as though I'm beneath you. That's what makes me smile. That's what makes me love my job. If you think for one second that I'm listening to your rambling bull shit, your wrong, I'm envisioning me reaching down to your table and grabbing a spoon then thrusting it into your neck to shut you up. Now your probable wondering why a spoon? Because it will hurt more!
I was called to a table that drank their whole bottle of wine and found something in the bottom of the bottle and in the bottom of the last glass poured. Two women sat at the table, one white one black, wearing there 70's outfits and hairdos that were even ugly for the 70's. The white one dramatically showed me the debris in the bottle and her glass. I told her that that was nothing, that wines sometime have tannins in them that are part of the wine. The black one now fires up. "TANNINS...TANNINS!" she barks. " I have been drinking wine my whole life and never heard of such a thing." There was an uncomfortable silent moment where I was waiting for them to say what they wanted or was I daydreaming about the spoon on the table. Anyway I asked if the wine tasted bad, after all you two drank the entire bottle dry!. The white one said "that's not the point!" Then I said "I guess the point is that you two don't want to pay for the wine." They both responded with a nod and one of them said "that would be nice". I smiled at them, because they both had purple stained lips and I imagined that it was from blowing Barny (the big purple dinosaur). As I left the table, the black lady turned to the table behind her where an older black man was sitting. She felt it necessary to show the stranger what was in the glass. He stood and turned to the table and told them that he was a bartender most of his life and that what I told them was fact. I wanted to hug the man, he was better than the spoon, He definitely hurt more. The two women left, not feeling as good about things as they wanted. I was happy that they were gone.
I was called to a table that drank their whole bottle of wine and found something in the bottom of the bottle and in the bottom of the last glass poured. Two women sat at the table, one white one black, wearing there 70's outfits and hairdos that were even ugly for the 70's. The white one dramatically showed me the debris in the bottle and her glass. I told her that that was nothing, that wines sometime have tannins in them that are part of the wine. The black one now fires up. "TANNINS...TANNINS!" she barks. " I have been drinking wine my whole life and never heard of such a thing." There was an uncomfortable silent moment where I was waiting for them to say what they wanted or was I daydreaming about the spoon on the table. Anyway I asked if the wine tasted bad, after all you two drank the entire bottle dry!. The white one said "that's not the point!" Then I said "I guess the point is that you two don't want to pay for the wine." They both responded with a nod and one of them said "that would be nice". I smiled at them, because they both had purple stained lips and I imagined that it was from blowing Barny (the big purple dinosaur). As I left the table, the black lady turned to the table behind her where an older black man was sitting. She felt it necessary to show the stranger what was in the glass. He stood and turned to the table and told them that he was a bartender most of his life and that what I told them was fact. I wanted to hug the man, he was better than the spoon, He definitely hurt more. The two women left, not feeling as good about things as they wanted. I was happy that they were gone.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Ghetto Woman, Country Redneck and the Chicken Wings
On any given day, I could have a run in with an unhappy guest. Sometimes its easily handled, other times its not. All you can do is to keep your calm, don't take any of it personal and avoid other guests from being affected by any disruption. Some people think that the louder they get the quicker things will go in their favor. FYI, I will not fold to loud, rude behavior. I will simply ask you to leave.
I was having a busy shift one day when I was called to the bar for an unhappy guest. When I got there I could see a potential problem looming. At the end of the bar sat two heavy set black women and one heavy set black man. and they appeared to come straight out of the ghetto. sitting a couple seats from them were three country rednecks that just came in from hunting. The three ghetto people had a problem with their chicken wings being raw. The spokes person for their group spewing Ebonic bull shit loudly at me, saying they were going to die from eating the raw wings. I asked the big woman to calm down as I explained that our wings come to us full cooked and she would not get sick. I told her I would cook them all new wings and I will cook them crispy. I removed the wings from in front of them and went to the kitchen. When the new wings were ready, I took them to the ghetto big three. Before all three plates were down the spokes person once again started screaming raw wings. I raised my voice to her now and said "please stop saying that, its not true." She then said "get us new ones", I told her no, that if she was not satisfied with the wings I would take them off their bill. I asked If she would like something different. She Said "I want wings", again I said no. She pushed the wings at me and instructed the other two to do the same. The big man said"nothins wrong with mine", she then yell at him" your gonna die if you eat them." Again I asked her to stop saying that. Then one of the rednecks had had enough. He says "god damn lady I ain't ever seen you people push chicken away before" My jaw dropped as to leave me speechless and in shock, I turned quietly from the group with the chicken wings in hand and went into the kitchen. I couldn't help but to wonder if they were killing each other right then. After regaining my composure I returned, the only one now sitting at the bar was the redneck that spoke his mind. I asked where everyone was and the bartender told me they all payed and left. I was happy that there had not been incident and the night was quiet from then on.
I was having a busy shift one day when I was called to the bar for an unhappy guest. When I got there I could see a potential problem looming. At the end of the bar sat two heavy set black women and one heavy set black man. and they appeared to come straight out of the ghetto. sitting a couple seats from them were three country rednecks that just came in from hunting. The three ghetto people had a problem with their chicken wings being raw. The spokes person for their group spewing Ebonic bull shit loudly at me, saying they were going to die from eating the raw wings. I asked the big woman to calm down as I explained that our wings come to us full cooked and she would not get sick. I told her I would cook them all new wings and I will cook them crispy. I removed the wings from in front of them and went to the kitchen. When the new wings were ready, I took them to the ghetto big three. Before all three plates were down the spokes person once again started screaming raw wings. I raised my voice to her now and said "please stop saying that, its not true." She then said "get us new ones", I told her no, that if she was not satisfied with the wings I would take them off their bill. I asked If she would like something different. She Said "I want wings", again I said no. She pushed the wings at me and instructed the other two to do the same. The big man said"nothins wrong with mine", she then yell at him" your gonna die if you eat them." Again I asked her to stop saying that. Then one of the rednecks had had enough. He says "god damn lady I ain't ever seen you people push chicken away before" My jaw dropped as to leave me speechless and in shock, I turned quietly from the group with the chicken wings in hand and went into the kitchen. I couldn't help but to wonder if they were killing each other right then. After regaining my composure I returned, the only one now sitting at the bar was the redneck that spoke his mind. I asked where everyone was and the bartender told me they all payed and left. I was happy that there had not been incident and the night was quiet from then on.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Burger Bag
There is a term used in our business, MFD, make fucking do. There isn't a day that goes by that at some point you have to MFD. The key to MFD is to play off what ever it is that your doing as though it was meant to be.
One shift that I was managing, a server came to me to tell me that we had run out of to go boxes and that they had a couple burgers that need to go. I went to the dry storage and found that what the server had told me was the truth, there were no to go boxes. I continued to look and I found a box of bags that were about the size of our burgers and they were lined in wax paper. I thought that maybe this was meant to be our new burger bags and that maybe we were doing away with the burger box. I took them to the kitchen and announced that I found burger bags. We quickly bagged up the to go burgers and sent them on their way. For the next few days these bags came in handy to use as to go burger bags. At some point my boss called me into the office and she asked me who put these bags in the kitchen. I told her that I did and that we were out of burger boxes so I just assumed that these were the replacement for them. She just shook her head and looked at me as though I was retarded. She then explained that these bags were designed to be placed in the boxes in side the ladies room stalls to collect used women's hygiene products. I still was not sure what she was telling me, she then snapped boldly "they are to put used tampons in!" Unfortunately half the box was used before she caught this, but in my defense, these bags kept the burgers in them, warm and moist! That is true MFD.
One shift that I was managing, a server came to me to tell me that we had run out of to go boxes and that they had a couple burgers that need to go. I went to the dry storage and found that what the server had told me was the truth, there were no to go boxes. I continued to look and I found a box of bags that were about the size of our burgers and they were lined in wax paper. I thought that maybe this was meant to be our new burger bags and that maybe we were doing away with the burger box. I took them to the kitchen and announced that I found burger bags. We quickly bagged up the to go burgers and sent them on their way. For the next few days these bags came in handy to use as to go burger bags. At some point my boss called me into the office and she asked me who put these bags in the kitchen. I told her that I did and that we were out of burger boxes so I just assumed that these were the replacement for them. She just shook her head and looked at me as though I was retarded. She then explained that these bags were designed to be placed in the boxes in side the ladies room stalls to collect used women's hygiene products. I still was not sure what she was telling me, she then snapped boldly "they are to put used tampons in!" Unfortunately half the box was used before she caught this, but in my defense, these bags kept the burgers in them, warm and moist! That is true MFD.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Banish All Liars
Growing up, one of the things that has been instilled in me is the importance of being honest. Without honesty, things are way to confusing, disrupting and mostly, a major waist of time. Liars are like terrorists, the suicide bomber kind! You don't know how to defend yourself from them. The hardest knocks of my life are from the acts of a liar. Yes, on many occasions I was a fool to believe in the lies being told. But I wanted to believe because if it were true my life would be bettered, easier. For instance, politics, right or left, they all are promising a better life, yet they rarely deliver. You have a better chance at seeing Halley's Comet. Every day I deal with the grey, the unsure. Now I'm older and the sad truth is that integrity and honesty, the two main traits that all people should want to possess are the two most hidden in today's life. Thank God for family and good friends, to remind us that there is an abundance of truth, honesty and integrity.
My plan is to only surround myself with honest people who have the same values. Where your word is truth, a hand shake is law. The grey and the unsure will become black, white and sure. As the clan grows we all will become successful from our merit. Our pride will be warranted and our Foes will be held at bay. I have a solid foundation with my family and friends. I love them for being on the side of all that is good and making me the man I am today. For that I promise with all my heart to protect them. There is no room left in my life for liars, so from this day on it will be my duty to expose and banish all liars. Well it looks good on paper! I can't do it alone so who will join me in my crusade? All help will be wecomed with open arms.
My plan is to only surround myself with honest people who have the same values. Where your word is truth, a hand shake is law. The grey and the unsure will become black, white and sure. As the clan grows we all will become successful from our merit. Our pride will be warranted and our Foes will be held at bay. I have a solid foundation with my family and friends. I love them for being on the side of all that is good and making me the man I am today. For that I promise with all my heart to protect them. There is no room left in my life for liars, so from this day on it will be my duty to expose and banish all liars. Well it looks good on paper! I can't do it alone so who will join me in my crusade? All help will be wecomed with open arms.
Monday, September 19, 2011
The deep end
I had a harsh realization about life. We wake up, drink allot of coffee, take a morning constitutional, prepare for work, go to work, find a moment to eat, go home, have a stiff drink, go to bed, wake up and repeat. Each day I wake up I have to convince myself that I like people and that they are worthy of my time. Each night before bed, as I drink my Johnny Walker Black with three ice cubes, I have to talk myself out of searching Craig's list for an automatic weapon. Then I breath deep and think of happier times and beautiful people from my past.
I guess I was about seven years old on a hot summer day, my dad took me and my little sister, two years younger, to the public swimming pool. I remember him sitting us both down and sternly telling us to stay in the shallow end of the pool. "do not go near the deep end" he said pointing his index finger in each of our faces. We both shook our heads in acknowledgement to his stern demand, "I will be back in a little while to get you." and off he went. No sooner than we were in the water, splashing about and having a refreshing good time, my little sister suggested we go to the deep end. Had my dad not demanded that we stay in the shallow end, we probably would have never thought to go there. But the seed was planted and I was up for that adventure. I suggested that we hold onto the wall and work our way down to the deepest end of the pool. I remember there wasn't as many people there in the deep end as the shallow end and the water seemed cooler. We made to a ladder where we hung on to it over the deepest end. My sister then had a dare for me. she said " I bet you wont hold your breath, go under the water and open your eyes." That was a dare I was willing to take! So I took a deep breath, held my nose and went under the deep warm water. Why was the water warm? When I opened my eyes, I saw I was in a cloud of yellow. I screamed an air bubbly scream that only submerged people could hear as I saw were her little feet climbing up the ladder leaving the pool.
I'm in my fifties now and I still haven't figured out an appropriate pay back. Its remains on my bucket list still to this day.
I guess I was about seven years old on a hot summer day, my dad took me and my little sister, two years younger, to the public swimming pool. I remember him sitting us both down and sternly telling us to stay in the shallow end of the pool. "do not go near the deep end" he said pointing his index finger in each of our faces. We both shook our heads in acknowledgement to his stern demand, "I will be back in a little while to get you." and off he went. No sooner than we were in the water, splashing about and having a refreshing good time, my little sister suggested we go to the deep end. Had my dad not demanded that we stay in the shallow end, we probably would have never thought to go there. But the seed was planted and I was up for that adventure. I suggested that we hold onto the wall and work our way down to the deepest end of the pool. I remember there wasn't as many people there in the deep end as the shallow end and the water seemed cooler. We made to a ladder where we hung on to it over the deepest end. My sister then had a dare for me. she said " I bet you wont hold your breath, go under the water and open your eyes." That was a dare I was willing to take! So I took a deep breath, held my nose and went under the deep warm water. Why was the water warm? When I opened my eyes, I saw I was in a cloud of yellow. I screamed an air bubbly scream that only submerged people could hear as I saw were her little feet climbing up the ladder leaving the pool.
I'm in my fifties now and I still haven't figured out an appropriate pay back. Its remains on my bucket list still to this day.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
A ruff month
I had a ruff month and I have lost the ability to concentrate. The recovery from the motor cycle accident has been slow and painful. I forced myself back to work against my Doctors orders to stay off my leg. But I couldn't stand laying around any more. I got a cane and hobbled off to work.
It was a normal slow Tuesday night that was uneventful, almost boring. The staff was hurrying to finish up their work so they could get out of there. I had finished my weekly bar inventory and down loaded it into the office computer. I went back out to the dining room to check behind the remaining couple of wait staff making sure every ones work was done. The last two cooks, a waitress and the bartender clocked out and left the building leaving a waiter, the dish washer and me. The waiter and I were both finished and were shooting the shit while we waited for the dish guy to finish up. We were standing near the bar and I was showing the waiter my intense wound on my leg from the accident. we both heard someone come in through the to go door which was locked. I saw a man with a black hoody and a black mask come around the corner. I said " are you serious?" he kept walking towards us. I asked again " are you serious?" he walked straight up to me and stuck a gun inches from my face and demanded money. I had to ask again if he was serious and he replied that he was going to fucking shoot me if i didn't get him the money. Shoving us threw the double doors with his free hand leading us to the office. He was caught off guard when he saw the dishwasher who hadn't noticed yet that we were getting held up because he had his headphones on. This freaked the robber out and made him very agitated. He reached over and with one swift move flung the dish guy over to were we were standing. The robber pushing us down the hallway towards the office. He instructed me to go in the office and open the safe. I was confused and started to realize that this was a for real robbery. I told the guy to calm down that he was confusing me. This pissed him off and he shoved the other two guys to the floor, pointed the gun at them and said if I didn't get the fucking safe open he was going to kill my friends right then. I remembered the safe code and told him once again to calm down, that I would get him the money. I got the safe open and pulled the cash drawers out. He threw me a nylon draw string bag and told me to put all the money in it. I did as i was instructed. He asked if that was everything and I assured him that it was. He told us to put our cell phones on the shelf in the hallway and pushed us towards the walk in refrigerator. He told us to get in and asked if we wanted to go home tonight. "You all can go home tonight if you stay in here for twenty minutes." We agreed to the conditions, waited about fifteen seconds til he was out of sight and jumped out of the walk in, grabbed our phones and called the police.
The armed robber was never caught. This leaving me jump, constantly looking over my shoulder and wondering wtf!
It was a normal slow Tuesday night that was uneventful, almost boring. The staff was hurrying to finish up their work so they could get out of there. I had finished my weekly bar inventory and down loaded it into the office computer. I went back out to the dining room to check behind the remaining couple of wait staff making sure every ones work was done. The last two cooks, a waitress and the bartender clocked out and left the building leaving a waiter, the dish washer and me. The waiter and I were both finished and were shooting the shit while we waited for the dish guy to finish up. We were standing near the bar and I was showing the waiter my intense wound on my leg from the accident. we both heard someone come in through the to go door which was locked. I saw a man with a black hoody and a black mask come around the corner. I said " are you serious?" he kept walking towards us. I asked again " are you serious?" he walked straight up to me and stuck a gun inches from my face and demanded money. I had to ask again if he was serious and he replied that he was going to fucking shoot me if i didn't get him the money. Shoving us threw the double doors with his free hand leading us to the office. He was caught off guard when he saw the dishwasher who hadn't noticed yet that we were getting held up because he had his headphones on. This freaked the robber out and made him very agitated. He reached over and with one swift move flung the dish guy over to were we were standing. The robber pushing us down the hallway towards the office. He instructed me to go in the office and open the safe. I was confused and started to realize that this was a for real robbery. I told the guy to calm down that he was confusing me. This pissed him off and he shoved the other two guys to the floor, pointed the gun at them and said if I didn't get the fucking safe open he was going to kill my friends right then. I remembered the safe code and told him once again to calm down, that I would get him the money. I got the safe open and pulled the cash drawers out. He threw me a nylon draw string bag and told me to put all the money in it. I did as i was instructed. He asked if that was everything and I assured him that it was. He told us to put our cell phones on the shelf in the hallway and pushed us towards the walk in refrigerator. He told us to get in and asked if we wanted to go home tonight. "You all can go home tonight if you stay in here for twenty minutes." We agreed to the conditions, waited about fifteen seconds til he was out of sight and jumped out of the walk in, grabbed our phones and called the police.
The armed robber was never caught. This leaving me jump, constantly looking over my shoulder and wondering wtf!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
What is wrong with people!
On my way to work, I listen to news radio to get my last minute picture as to where we stand as human beings. It floored me to hear that there were people that cursed, flipped the bird and threw things at the power company guys that are trying to restore power post hurricane.What is wrong with people! These guys are working eighteen hour days to fix whats damaged. They should get a ticker tape parade or at the very least a cold beer, you fucking assholes!
I'm still in an amazing amount of discomfort due to the motor cycle wreck, so working is close to unbearable. I don't have much of a choice as short staffed as we are right now. The big kicker is that we are the only restaurant open in town. The only one with power.
Its around seven thirty on a Monday night and there is an hour and a half wait at the door to seat people. I'm hobbling around the restaurant thanking everyone for their patients when an older man at the door asked if I was the manager. I told him I was and that was this guy's cue to lose his temper at me about having to wait to be seated. I mean he told me that I was worthless, he might have made a slur towards my mother and ending with the every time he comes in, this place sucks! I held my cane up and with one swift move I swung the cane down striking the old fucker in the face yelling go the fuck some where else then...wait wait wait, that's what I was thinking. Instead I simply said "your right sir, thank you for your patients" and hobbled away mumbling "I love my job I love my job I love my job."
I'm still in an amazing amount of discomfort due to the motor cycle wreck, so working is close to unbearable. I don't have much of a choice as short staffed as we are right now. The big kicker is that we are the only restaurant open in town. The only one with power.
Its around seven thirty on a Monday night and there is an hour and a half wait at the door to seat people. I'm hobbling around the restaurant thanking everyone for their patients when an older man at the door asked if I was the manager. I told him I was and that was this guy's cue to lose his temper at me about having to wait to be seated. I mean he told me that I was worthless, he might have made a slur towards my mother and ending with the every time he comes in, this place sucks! I held my cane up and with one swift move I swung the cane down striking the old fucker in the face yelling go the fuck some where else then...wait wait wait, that's what I was thinking. Instead I simply said "your right sir, thank you for your patients" and hobbled away mumbling "I love my job I love my job I love my job."
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Earth Wind and Fire
Its been a hell of a couple of weeks, The on going fire in the dismal swamp making it almost impossible to breath here. The Harley wreck, kind of life changing. The earth quake and then the hurricane. I'm starting to take some of this personal. Hope you will understand my absence and forgive me for I am truly sorry.
It was my sisters 50th birthday. I was to cook for twelve people that night. I thought I'd go to the beach and catch a little sun to beef up my slightly faded British Virgin Island tan. In shorts and a tee shirt I jump on the Harley beach bound. As I cruised, I thought how I was timing the dinner and tried to remember if there was anything else I needed from the store. I owe my sister allot, shes family and also my friend, she and her husband. Then I thought about how smokey it still was from the forest burning around the Dismal Swamp. It was almost hard to breath. Suddenly I hear tires skidding when I realize its the car and truck in front of me had come to a complete stop. I hit my brakes, my bikes wheels lock up and I begin to skid sideways. Still doing thirty miles an hour in a full skid I assessed that I would slam into the back of the pick up unless I did something quick. I let off the breaks, the tires stopped skidding and I, for a instant, had control. I shot out from behind the truck into on coming traffic. The front wheel wobbled flipping the bike forward onto is side slamming me to the asphalt and scrapping me about fifteen feet up the street into oncoming traffic.I laid there for a second and wondered how my wallet and check book were about five feet beyond where I rested. OMG some one get this bike off me I yelled. I saw the guy who initially caused the traffic to stop. I yelled to him to get the bike off me, he drove away leaving the girl who's truck I almost smashed into. She jumped out hysterical, trying to get the heavy Harley off my leg. Finally two guys jumped out of there cars to help the scene. EMS was there in a flash. I was taken to a trauma unit where I got a once over, cat scans and ex rays told the story. I do remember a woman doctor asking me in that angry motherly voice "you were wearing shorts and a tee shirt on a motor cycle?" I said " don't judge me!". They quickly pieced me together and in a few shout hours I'm leaving the hospital on crutches. Made it to my sisters birthday with the food and instructed some friends in the preparation, Dinner was awesome. The next morning I woke up and I could not believe the amount of pain throughout my entire body. A week goes by trying to walk and then back down on the couch. All I wanted to do was sleep but then I would wake up sweating from the replay of the accident. I went to Walmart to get a couple of new tires for my car and do necessity shopping plus I thought that I could use the cart as a walker and get some exercise for this knee. As I was in the tire department waiting to be serviced, the huge tire racks started moving, so much that I thought they were going to topple. I hobbled,behind my cart, for my life. The shelves suddenly stopped shaking. I looked at the clerk and asked "what in the hell was that". Later when I got in my car to go home, I was listening to NPR news. Thats when I learned of the earthquake. I decided I needed to go back to work to take my mind off everything. Not a smart idea, I hadn't felt pain until I was on my feet six straight hours. Thank god a hurricane stopped through here, got another day to lay out. I get a little better everyday. Soon this will all just be a memory.
I've missed sharing the little pieces of my life with those that are entertained!
It was my sisters 50th birthday. I was to cook for twelve people that night. I thought I'd go to the beach and catch a little sun to beef up my slightly faded British Virgin Island tan. In shorts and a tee shirt I jump on the Harley beach bound. As I cruised, I thought how I was timing the dinner and tried to remember if there was anything else I needed from the store. I owe my sister allot, shes family and also my friend, she and her husband. Then I thought about how smokey it still was from the forest burning around the Dismal Swamp. It was almost hard to breath. Suddenly I hear tires skidding when I realize its the car and truck in front of me had come to a complete stop. I hit my brakes, my bikes wheels lock up and I begin to skid sideways. Still doing thirty miles an hour in a full skid I assessed that I would slam into the back of the pick up unless I did something quick. I let off the breaks, the tires stopped skidding and I, for a instant, had control. I shot out from behind the truck into on coming traffic. The front wheel wobbled flipping the bike forward onto is side slamming me to the asphalt and scrapping me about fifteen feet up the street into oncoming traffic.I laid there for a second and wondered how my wallet and check book were about five feet beyond where I rested. OMG some one get this bike off me I yelled. I saw the guy who initially caused the traffic to stop. I yelled to him to get the bike off me, he drove away leaving the girl who's truck I almost smashed into. She jumped out hysterical, trying to get the heavy Harley off my leg. Finally two guys jumped out of there cars to help the scene. EMS was there in a flash. I was taken to a trauma unit where I got a once over, cat scans and ex rays told the story. I do remember a woman doctor asking me in that angry motherly voice "you were wearing shorts and a tee shirt on a motor cycle?" I said " don't judge me!". They quickly pieced me together and in a few shout hours I'm leaving the hospital on crutches. Made it to my sisters birthday with the food and instructed some friends in the preparation, Dinner was awesome. The next morning I woke up and I could not believe the amount of pain throughout my entire body. A week goes by trying to walk and then back down on the couch. All I wanted to do was sleep but then I would wake up sweating from the replay of the accident. I went to Walmart to get a couple of new tires for my car and do necessity shopping plus I thought that I could use the cart as a walker and get some exercise for this knee. As I was in the tire department waiting to be serviced, the huge tire racks started moving, so much that I thought they were going to topple. I hobbled,behind my cart, for my life. The shelves suddenly stopped shaking. I looked at the clerk and asked "what in the hell was that". Later when I got in my car to go home, I was listening to NPR news. Thats when I learned of the earthquake. I decided I needed to go back to work to take my mind off everything. Not a smart idea, I hadn't felt pain until I was on my feet six straight hours. Thank god a hurricane stopped through here, got another day to lay out. I get a little better everyday. Soon this will all just be a memory.
I've missed sharing the little pieces of my life with those that are entertained!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Meth
Once again my intentions are only to shed light on an issue that I am scared that we keep hidden in the dark. It wont happen to me or anyone around me, is a statement from someone living in a fantasy world. I want to apologize to my older readers, I promise to get back on track in just a couple more posts. I feel I owe you all, my readers and friends, an explanation. This short campaign stems from several conversations of young people that took place in front of me. Where as I am flattered that they were comfortable enough to talk freely in front of me, I feel a moral obligation to tell these series of short story's. Even though I still make light of some events, I have an angle. Please please please continue to read. Those old friends of mine that hit some hard times in their lives, I would love for you to tell your anonymous story here. Again and always, thank you for reading
Know anyone like this?
Friday, August 12, 2011
Majic Mushrooms
There are many things that could go wrong from eating magic mushrooms but dying from eating magic mushrooms is really rare. The psychedelic effects could lead to damaging your thought process and can control your mind. During this time you could be terrified of something around you and use self defense on someone around you that you believe is your enemy – this could lead to graphic endings. The problem with that situation is that it would be very rare to occur and it’s not directly caused from eating the magic mushrooms because most hallucinogens can lead to that in some situations. There are a few things that could happen though which could lead to death. Most deaths are caused from eating the wrong kind of mushrooms. But once again your chemical profile will decide your reaction.
One night during a full moon Tommy and a couple of buddies hiked of to a cow field to harvest mushrooms, the girls waited behind, said it was the guys job to get them. They got to the field, climbed the fence, cut threw a small wood line and started the search for the shrooms. It was a perfect night to harvest for the full moon shed enough light to make the gold caps of the shrooms shine. You could spot them at twenty feet. Tommy found the first one and decided to sample as he continued to look. His buddies followed his lead. With in thirty minutes they were starting to feel the effects of the mushrooms they had eaten. At one point Tommy was eating a mushroom and felt something move in his mouth. He quickly spit out the half chewed contents of his mouth and there was a full size boll weevil. This grossed Tommy out so bad that he began to projectile puked which in turn kicked the mushroom high in full gear. The boys had no idea how long they were in the field, but it had been long enough that the girls came looking for them. when the girls found them they were laying in the field staring up at the sky and laughing. As the girls got close the laughter became hysterical. The boys laughing so hard they couldn't catch their breath. Suddenly a gallop noise could be heard coming towards them and as it got closer, panic set in. Everyone started running for the woods near the fence line where they came into the field. Tommy turned , just as he hit the woods, to see what was charging after them. It was a bull, a big angry bull. Just then one of his buddies fell and his glasses flew off his face. Tommy went back and scooped him as his buddy grabbed his glasses and into the woods they ran. They could hear the bull getting closer as they heard small trees snapping at the force of the his charge. They made it to the fence line and over the fence they went. There everyone was waiting with wide open eyes. Once everyone was accounted for the laughter started up again. They all returned to the apartment where the girls washed the bounty and tossed them into a blender with limeade and ice. Everyone drank the potion, Tommy woke hours later from the sun coming up. He was up high in a big oak tree, sore from the position he had slept in. Wow what a night he thought, climbed down out of the tree and went into the apartment where he found all his friends dead. No, once again Tommy got lucky and all were just passed out. It definitely could have turned out differently though.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Unknown
Unintentional fatal drug incidents nearly doubled from 1999 to 2004 and were the second leading cause of accidental death in United States in 2004, behind only auto crashes, according to the center of disease control.
Tommy was hanging out with this buddy that liked to socialize, Tommy was down with that as well. They went to a gathering that was in a high rise building on the fifteenth floor. They entered the apartment that was decorated by someone with money. Everything was modern and very clean. They walked down a short hallway that opened up into an airy living room where five people were hanging out. Quick introductions, they seated and the socializing began. Chatter and laughter filled the room as a couple of joints were lit and passed around. when the first joint got to Tommy, he hit it and thought that it didn't taste like pot. He said something to his buddy as he passed it to him. His buddy hit it and said that it was green. Tommy took it as though it meant that the pot was home grown. Tommy continued to hit and pass the joints that tasted funny. Everything from that point was a blur. At one point Tommy was out on the balcony with another person and they were talking how nice the pool looked fifteen floors down. Tommy stated that he could hit the pool from up there.The other person said "no way". Tommy was going to prove he could and got naked. Just as Tommy was about to climb over the rail, the owner of that apartment came out on the balcony and asked what was up. The two explained the bet, the owner said "what pool" the two pointed down. The owner laughed and said "that not a pool that's a parking lot." The next day after Tommy awoke, He had many gaps in his memory, he did however remember the balcony event. He ran to the bathroom to violently puke after the realization that he almost met his demise the night before. He never did find out what was in those joints, but he was sure it was not pot. Tommy knew that luck had been with him and at that point in his life learned to question things instead of assuming.
I had always wondered why people all fucked up on drugs choose to commit suicide, After this event I thought that maybe it wasn't suicide, it was just a misread visual that turned into a bad bet.
Tommy was hanging out with this buddy that liked to socialize, Tommy was down with that as well. They went to a gathering that was in a high rise building on the fifteenth floor. They entered the apartment that was decorated by someone with money. Everything was modern and very clean. They walked down a short hallway that opened up into an airy living room where five people were hanging out. Quick introductions, they seated and the socializing began. Chatter and laughter filled the room as a couple of joints were lit and passed around. when the first joint got to Tommy, he hit it and thought that it didn't taste like pot. He said something to his buddy as he passed it to him. His buddy hit it and said that it was green. Tommy took it as though it meant that the pot was home grown. Tommy continued to hit and pass the joints that tasted funny. Everything from that point was a blur. At one point Tommy was out on the balcony with another person and they were talking how nice the pool looked fifteen floors down. Tommy stated that he could hit the pool from up there.The other person said "no way". Tommy was going to prove he could and got naked. Just as Tommy was about to climb over the rail, the owner of that apartment came out on the balcony and asked what was up. The two explained the bet, the owner said "what pool" the two pointed down. The owner laughed and said "that not a pool that's a parking lot." The next day after Tommy awoke, He had many gaps in his memory, he did however remember the balcony event. He ran to the bathroom to violently puke after the realization that he almost met his demise the night before. He never did find out what was in those joints, but he was sure it was not pot. Tommy knew that luck had been with him and at that point in his life learned to question things instead of assuming.
I had always wondered why people all fucked up on drugs choose to commit suicide, After this event I thought that maybe it wasn't suicide, it was just a misread visual that turned into a bad bet.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Cocaine
Class A felony. Depending on what you get caught with and the intent for use, you could get anywhere from six months to life without parole. Not physically addictive but considered a schedule II drug, meaning that it has a high potential for abuse. the drug can be a good time in a group but it causes people to Jones for it. The good time is lost when the group can only think how to get more. The world problems can be solved on this drug if you could only remember the conversations that took place. A terrible waiste of money and the physical affects are crushing. This drug allows you to be able to drink ten fold what you would normally drink. For men, you may think your horny but you ain't doing anything with that limp noodle. My suggestion on this drug is to stay clear, its not worth the time, money, health factor and the chance to do jail time.
Tommy Palmer was living the life, he had a killer pad in Georgetown Washington DC. He was good looking and had money. He was a supplier. He went to a dinner party that he was asked to attend for the purpose of hooking up the host. There were influential people at this party, eight couples around a large elegantly set table with all crystal, china and silver. Both red and white wines were served in the appropriate glassware. After dinner was over a few of the guests said their good byes and left. Now the party was going to start. The host stuck out his hand towards Tommy, he was ready for his purchase. Tommy quickly obliged. It always humored Tommy that this guy, every time, had to test the product. He grabbed a wine glass and poured Clorox bleach into it, took a small scoop of the coke and dropped it into the glass. When the cocaine hits the bleach it instantly separates the cocaine from the cut. He, as usual, was happy with the ratio. The host took the cocaine and dumped a huge portion onto a mirror with a razor blade and a third of a McDonald's Straw. Why a McDonald's straw you may ask, because it is the widest of all straws, make the cocaine get in you fast. The mirror got passed around, when it got to Tommy, he cut out a healthy line and snorted it in one quick hit. He gagged a bit then his throat began to close up. He grabbed his glass of white wine and chugged it hoping to open his throat back up. As soon as the glass was empty he realized that he had just drank the bleach. Could you even imagine what it would be like to have to tell a bunch of jacked up people that you had just drank a whole glass of bleach? No way would these socialites take you to an emergency room. "make him puke" someone yelled. "no, make him drink milk then puke"someone else barked. They in fact made Tommy get the bleach out of his system, but damn, what a buzz kill. Tommy was never invited back to dinner. The heart burn from the bleach burns in his esophagus was hell and every time Tommy belched in the following week, he could taste what was described as a swimming pool.
Cocaine use increases the risk of sudden heart attack and may also trigger stroke, even in users who otherwise are not in high risk for these sometimes fatal cardiovascular events. Cocaine heart attacks is one of the most common causes of death in young dumb people here in the USA. Please be smart.
Tommy Palmer was living the life, he had a killer pad in Georgetown Washington DC. He was good looking and had money. He was a supplier. He went to a dinner party that he was asked to attend for the purpose of hooking up the host. There were influential people at this party, eight couples around a large elegantly set table with all crystal, china and silver. Both red and white wines were served in the appropriate glassware. After dinner was over a few of the guests said their good byes and left. Now the party was going to start. The host stuck out his hand towards Tommy, he was ready for his purchase. Tommy quickly obliged. It always humored Tommy that this guy, every time, had to test the product. He grabbed a wine glass and poured Clorox bleach into it, took a small scoop of the coke and dropped it into the glass. When the cocaine hits the bleach it instantly separates the cocaine from the cut. He, as usual, was happy with the ratio. The host took the cocaine and dumped a huge portion onto a mirror with a razor blade and a third of a McDonald's Straw. Why a McDonald's straw you may ask, because it is the widest of all straws, make the cocaine get in you fast. The mirror got passed around, when it got to Tommy, he cut out a healthy line and snorted it in one quick hit. He gagged a bit then his throat began to close up. He grabbed his glass of white wine and chugged it hoping to open his throat back up. As soon as the glass was empty he realized that he had just drank the bleach. Could you even imagine what it would be like to have to tell a bunch of jacked up people that you had just drank a whole glass of bleach? No way would these socialites take you to an emergency room. "make him puke" someone yelled. "no, make him drink milk then puke"someone else barked. They in fact made Tommy get the bleach out of his system, but damn, what a buzz kill. Tommy was never invited back to dinner. The heart burn from the bleach burns in his esophagus was hell and every time Tommy belched in the following week, he could taste what was described as a swimming pool.
Cocaine use increases the risk of sudden heart attack and may also trigger stroke, even in users who otherwise are not in high risk for these sometimes fatal cardiovascular events. Cocaine heart attacks is one of the most common causes of death in young dumb people here in the USA. Please be smart.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Cannabis part two
Pot smokers would much rather be in a familiar room with friends and or video games than to experience the outside world. throw in some food and drink and utopia is found.
I had these two bumpkin kind of neighbors that loved to smoke pot and veg out to video games. It was Friday the thirteenth and they had the kind bud burning. You could smell it coming up the steps to the apartments. I thought that I needed to get these guys out and do something, just get them outside to breath fresh air. I stopped by their apartment at the tail end of one of their sessions. I convinced them to ride with me down town Charleston to an old cemetery. they were easier to convince than I would have expected. It hadn't been dark long but we found the old cemetery, parked the car and walked. When we got to this old place the gates were closed and locked. The perimeter was surrounded by an eight foot iron fence with sharp arrow heads topping each iron picket. The two bumpkins were up and over in a second, I had to plan my crossing. I took my time and made it over safely. We messed around for an hour or so. One of the bumpkins peed on a grave, I told him that wasn't cool and reminded him that it was Friday the thirteenth. He told me to shut the fuck up. It was time to head on home, I had gone first and once again took my time. The first neighbor was up and over in a second. The other guy, the one that peed, was almost over when he slipped. He was impaled in the ass by one of the spear pickets. His legs dangled and his arms flailed, his torso ridged with that rod stuck in his ass, he could have passed for a pop sickle. He was screaming in pain, all we could do was laugh, It was by far one of the funniest things I had ever seen. At one point I caught my breath and was able to say "911" then said " I warned you about pissing!". Some how he found the strength to pull him self off the spike and fell to the walk below. He was in agony. He turned his ass to us and said "is it bad?" All I saw was a bloody rip in his jeans and something that looked like strands of bloody meat hanging out. That just turned out to be part of his jeans. We told him that we couldn't see anything, with out thought he dropped his pants and bent over. He in deed had a sizable gash in his ass cheek that was squirting blood every time his heart beat. His buddy, in tears from laughter, said "apply pressure." I said I wasn't touching that, then told him to sit down on it. He never went to the doctor because he wasn't sure what he would tell him. I don't think the pot caused the incident but I sure think it made it funnier.
I had these two bumpkin kind of neighbors that loved to smoke pot and veg out to video games. It was Friday the thirteenth and they had the kind bud burning. You could smell it coming up the steps to the apartments. I thought that I needed to get these guys out and do something, just get them outside to breath fresh air. I stopped by their apartment at the tail end of one of their sessions. I convinced them to ride with me down town Charleston to an old cemetery. they were easier to convince than I would have expected. It hadn't been dark long but we found the old cemetery, parked the car and walked. When we got to this old place the gates were closed and locked. The perimeter was surrounded by an eight foot iron fence with sharp arrow heads topping each iron picket. The two bumpkins were up and over in a second, I had to plan my crossing. I took my time and made it over safely. We messed around for an hour or so. One of the bumpkins peed on a grave, I told him that wasn't cool and reminded him that it was Friday the thirteenth. He told me to shut the fuck up. It was time to head on home, I had gone first and once again took my time. The first neighbor was up and over in a second. The other guy, the one that peed, was almost over when he slipped. He was impaled in the ass by one of the spear pickets. His legs dangled and his arms flailed, his torso ridged with that rod stuck in his ass, he could have passed for a pop sickle. He was screaming in pain, all we could do was laugh, It was by far one of the funniest things I had ever seen. At one point I caught my breath and was able to say "911" then said " I warned you about pissing!". Some how he found the strength to pull him self off the spike and fell to the walk below. He was in agony. He turned his ass to us and said "is it bad?" All I saw was a bloody rip in his jeans and something that looked like strands of bloody meat hanging out. That just turned out to be part of his jeans. We told him that we couldn't see anything, with out thought he dropped his pants and bent over. He in deed had a sizable gash in his ass cheek that was squirting blood every time his heart beat. His buddy, in tears from laughter, said "apply pressure." I said I wasn't touching that, then told him to sit down on it. He never went to the doctor because he wasn't sure what he would tell him. I don't think the pot caused the incident but I sure think it made it funnier.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Whippets part two
An old friend, that knows way to much about me, reminded me of another whippet story. I was a little older but still no wiser and once alcohol is in the picture I become a retard. Um still a long time ago though!
There's a dessert restaurant in Charleston, their concept is great desserts and great drinks, go any where you'd like for dinner, just end up here for dessert. Several of my members for the after hours club worked here, so they were part of my rounds. I had stopped at many places before ending up here so needless to say I had a good buzz going. This place prides its self on everything made there. This included whipped cream, all desserts and coffees were topped with their delicious home made whipped cream. But in order to be able to keep up with the demands for the whipped cream, they need to get their nitrous in bulk. I knew where they kept their back up tank. Now here's where the story goes south. I was sitting at the bar with a couple of friends and I pointed out the spare tank. My friends didn't believe that there was a giant tank of nitrous three feet away. The little English bartender that was taking care of us had to leave from behind the bar for a minute to do something in the kitchen. This was my opportunity to jump behind the bar, put my lips on the brass nozzle of the nitrous tank and turned it on to inhale the gas. I turned it on way to fast, the gas came out in force causing the nozzle to instantly freeze up and my lips froze to the nozzle. When the English bar tender came back from the kitchen she saw me attached to the nozzle and screamed my name. I could not move, I was stuck. I pointed to the coffee pot. She grabbed the hot coffee and poured it on my lips to free me from its frosty hold. The whole bar got a good laugh at my expense. I woke the next morning with the usual hang over, went to the bathroom to brush the nasty out of my mouth. When I looked in the mirror I saw two huge blisters on my lips that looked like the worst STD ever. I couldn't be seen in public for several day after that night.
There's a dessert restaurant in Charleston, their concept is great desserts and great drinks, go any where you'd like for dinner, just end up here for dessert. Several of my members for the after hours club worked here, so they were part of my rounds. I had stopped at many places before ending up here so needless to say I had a good buzz going. This place prides its self on everything made there. This included whipped cream, all desserts and coffees were topped with their delicious home made whipped cream. But in order to be able to keep up with the demands for the whipped cream, they need to get their nitrous in bulk. I knew where they kept their back up tank. Now here's where the story goes south. I was sitting at the bar with a couple of friends and I pointed out the spare tank. My friends didn't believe that there was a giant tank of nitrous three feet away. The little English bartender that was taking care of us had to leave from behind the bar for a minute to do something in the kitchen. This was my opportunity to jump behind the bar, put my lips on the brass nozzle of the nitrous tank and turned it on to inhale the gas. I turned it on way to fast, the gas came out in force causing the nozzle to instantly freeze up and my lips froze to the nozzle. When the English bar tender came back from the kitchen she saw me attached to the nozzle and screamed my name. I could not move, I was stuck. I pointed to the coffee pot. She grabbed the hot coffee and poured it on my lips to free me from its frosty hold. The whole bar got a good laugh at my expense. I woke the next morning with the usual hang over, went to the bathroom to brush the nasty out of my mouth. When I looked in the mirror I saw two huge blisters on my lips that looked like the worst STD ever. I couldn't be seen in public for several day after that night.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Whippets
Nitrous oxide (whippet) can be found in whip cream cans or in cartridges that need to be dispensed into a canister or balloon. Nitrous oxide is laughing gas, the gas the dentist will give you.
Many years ago, when I was just a pup, it seemed that I could be talked into anything, never seeing beyond what ever it was we would do. Never saw danger or legal ramifications, just saw excitement and fun. Me and three other dumb ass youths thought it would be a good idea to do our whippet filled balloons while sitting on a bridge about 30 feet above a jagged rock filled shallow creek. The guy next to me asked how to do this. I looked at him in amazement that he had never done a whippet. Just inhale the balloon I said, then I said "maybe you should get off the wall", he said that he would be alright. As we took the whole balloon into our lungs, the short buzz begins and not being able to pay to much attention to what was going on around us. I felt the guy next to me lean into me, then I felt him lay his shoulder onto my lap. I looked down just in time to watch him roll off my lap and free fall completely past out. Everything was slow motion and I was helpless to help him. Like a rag doll, completely limp he fell. He landed on his back in two feet of water barley missing the jagged rocks around him. As the water came up over his face he woke, jumped up and said "Holy shit did I just fall from there?" None of us could believe what had just happened. He got lucky, only had to get fifteen stitches and a lecture for all of us from the E R doctor about how stupid we all were.
Many years ago, when I was just a pup, it seemed that I could be talked into anything, never seeing beyond what ever it was we would do. Never saw danger or legal ramifications, just saw excitement and fun. Me and three other dumb ass youths thought it would be a good idea to do our whippet filled balloons while sitting on a bridge about 30 feet above a jagged rock filled shallow creek. The guy next to me asked how to do this. I looked at him in amazement that he had never done a whippet. Just inhale the balloon I said, then I said "maybe you should get off the wall", he said that he would be alright. As we took the whole balloon into our lungs, the short buzz begins and not being able to pay to much attention to what was going on around us. I felt the guy next to me lean into me, then I felt him lay his shoulder onto my lap. I looked down just in time to watch him roll off my lap and free fall completely past out. Everything was slow motion and I was helpless to help him. Like a rag doll, completely limp he fell. He landed on his back in two feet of water barley missing the jagged rocks around him. As the water came up over his face he woke, jumped up and said "Holy shit did I just fall from there?" None of us could believe what had just happened. He got lucky, only had to get fifteen stitches and a lecture for all of us from the E R doctor about how stupid we all were.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Cannabis
Fact, cannabis is an annual herbaceous plant in the cannabaceae family. Humans have cultivated this herb throughout recorded history as a source of industrial fibre, seed oil, food, drugs and medicine. each part of the plant is harvested differently depending on the purpose of its use. Fact, federally cannabis is classified as a schedule 1 drug under the federal controlled substance act of 1970 and is deemed to have a high potential for abuse and no legitimate medical use. I think , and this is just an opinion, that the Washington lobbyist for the legalization of pot must be high and forgot that they are trying to legalize it. None the less, sad but true, it is illegal.
My partner and I were in the process of building a restaurant in a marina. During the construction, I hung out in my sisters antique shop where I met with vendors and did interviews with potential staff. One such interview was with a young man that came with some great references, I was anxious for the meeting. He showed up and interviewed well, I asked if he wanted to take a drive to check out the restaurant, he said "sure". When we walked out side I told him that he had to drive, he got a shocked look on his face but obliged. As soon as I sat down in his car, I understood his fear, it reeked as though he had just smoked a blunt.I played dumb and off we drove. This guy worked with me for many years after that and we have a good laugh when ever we look back to the day of his interview. He has turned out to be quite the chef and to my knowledge the pot smoking has not slowed him down.
Again, every ones chemistry is different and it is still illegal.
My partner and I were in the process of building a restaurant in a marina. During the construction, I hung out in my sisters antique shop where I met with vendors and did interviews with potential staff. One such interview was with a young man that came with some great references, I was anxious for the meeting. He showed up and interviewed well, I asked if he wanted to take a drive to check out the restaurant, he said "sure". When we walked out side I told him that he had to drive, he got a shocked look on his face but obliged. As soon as I sat down in his car, I understood his fear, it reeked as though he had just smoked a blunt.I played dumb and off we drove. This guy worked with me for many years after that and we have a good laugh when ever we look back to the day of his interview. He has turned out to be quite the chef and to my knowledge the pot smoking has not slowed him down.
Again, every ones chemistry is different and it is still illegal.
Enlightenment
Many younger people get their start in the work force using the f&b industry to pay their way through school or they are hoping to get into management. Some may have the desire to one day open their own restaurant. What ever the case, young people that haven't been out on their own to long and have a disposable income, hang in an environment that is geared towards partying. My only concern is that this environment is exposed to drugs. My biggest pet peeve is to hear a kid in their late teens or early twenties talking as though they are an expert on recreational drugs. Then of course they also have the answers to all the worlds problems. For god sake these people haven't been around enough to know anything except maybe where food and drink go in the body, then where it comes out, still needing to be reminded to wash their hands. I hope that when the next few blogs are read that they may shed light on the truths and the fictions of drugs. I think that the most important fact about drugs is that no two people are going to react the same. Every ones chemistry profile is different, so to tell a newbie how he or she is going to react to a drug is, for the most part, a falsity. Only through experimentation by an individual will he or she know how they will do on a drug and that is a gamble to the out come. I'm not saying you won't have a good time, I'm also not saying it won't take from your life. I think that me being in my fifties, been in the industry as long as I have and yes I have done my share of experimentation, makes me more reliable for information than that twenty year old that can name the latest strains of cannabis.
My goal is to be honest in my stories, some may be funny, some may be devastating. We will see where this leads us. Where ever we are led I hope there is enlightenment.
My goal is to be honest in my stories, some may be funny, some may be devastating. We will see where this leads us. Where ever we are led I hope there is enlightenment.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Back to work
I grew up in a household with a very attractive mother and three very pretty sisters. We always seemed to have peeping Toms and obscene phone calls. My dad, brother and me weren't always around to handle things. We kept an unloaded shot gun in the closet by the front door and we hung a whistle by the phone. A couple of times my mother had been seen running out the front door with the shot gun chasing that peeping Tom and when the obscene callers would call, they'd get an ear of a loud whistle. Eventually the peeping stopped as did the phone calls.
My first day back to work after a great vacation! I had to hear that a woman called and told the manager on duty that the girl manager owed her a steak and lobster dinner, she would like to get it right then because she was hungry for it. The manager told the lady that a girl manager had not worked there for four months. There was a pause, then the lady said yes that's right, that's when it was. She insisted that she wanted that meal now. The manager said that he was unable to help her with that , but she could call the following day to talk to his General manager, she said no, she was hungry now. He apologized again and said he couldn't help her. She said to him that he was beginning to irritate her. That's right, he was irritating her. Again he apologized and said that the general manager may be able to help her tomorrow. She hung up and never called back. Wish we had that whistle for the obscene calls we get at work. I'm sure they would eventually stop as well.
My first day back to work after a great vacation! I had to hear that a woman called and told the manager on duty that the girl manager owed her a steak and lobster dinner, she would like to get it right then because she was hungry for it. The manager told the lady that a girl manager had not worked there for four months. There was a pause, then the lady said yes that's right, that's when it was. She insisted that she wanted that meal now. The manager said that he was unable to help her with that , but she could call the following day to talk to his General manager, she said no, she was hungry now. He apologized again and said he couldn't help her. She said to him that he was beginning to irritate her. That's right, he was irritating her. Again he apologized and said that the general manager may be able to help her tomorrow. She hung up and never called back. Wish we had that whistle for the obscene calls we get at work. I'm sure they would eventually stop as well.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
last night
Some time yesterday I had been bitten by ants, didn't think anything of it. My feet and ankles began to swell and I had some trouble breathing. We went to the store and got some antihistamine. This seemed to work. Some time during the night I was walking home by my self from, I guess, a bar. As I walked, I felt that my ankle was burning. I reached down to scratch and I ended up tearing a hand full of flesh from the bone, I had never experienced anything quite like this. I sat down and held the exposed ankle with both hands trying to contain the bleeding. I wished my friends and family were here. As I sat slipping into a state of shock, an islander came to me , I thought, to help me. He asked me my name and where I was from. The next thing I remember I had been offered a job to cook on boats that were visiting, paying me good money to make sure everyone was having a great time. As I was negotiating my pay, a rooster started to crow. I thought for a minute that I recognized that rooster, he was making quite a ruckus. I wanted to throw a rock at him. I could not concentrate on what they said the agreement was. Shut the fuck up I yelled as I sat up in my bed in this dark room awaken again by that mother fucking rooster
Today is our last day in Tortola BVI, we made no plans except to go to our favorite beach to snorkel and lay in the sun. We did just that then had lunch from a little bar shack down a piece from where we were set up. We were at that beach from about ten am to four thirty pm. That's almost a full work day.
feeling we had enough we headed back to get cleaned up for dinner. We had a cocktail or to and loaded into the car and headed for Cruzin, a great little restaurant road side. We ordered apps and entrees. My sister said I wasn't allowed dessert tonight. I said fine but that she had to go to the Bomba Shack after. She agree and I stuck to the deal. I don't know what the apps were that we ordered, but they were killer. I ordered my usual Caesar salad and the entree was a stuffed pepper.
My brother in law had the local lobster, his meal came out several minutes after ours, we could hear them out behind the kitchen beating the shit outta that poor lobster. I didn't get a picture but he said it was very good. At this point dinner was over. I held to the bargain. We now had to head to the bomba shack. They are known throughout the BVI for their Bomba Punch.
Today is our last day in Tortola BVI, we made no plans except to go to our favorite beach to snorkel and lay in the sun. We did just that then had lunch from a little bar shack down a piece from where we were set up. We were at that beach from about ten am to four thirty pm. That's almost a full work day.
Happy Hour
My friend had a mushroom pizza
My sister had the Creole Mahi
My brother in law had the local lobster, his meal came out several minutes after ours, we could hear them out behind the kitchen beating the shit outta that poor lobster. I didn't get a picture but he said it was very good. At this point dinner was over. I held to the bargain. We now had to head to the bomba shack. They are known throughout the BVI for their Bomba Punch.
we went in to the sandy floored joint and asked the girl behind the bar for a round of bomba punches. She smiled big and said "good good" she took a container from under the bamboo bar and poured a little into each glass then she added 151 rum topped with fruit juice. My friend asked what that was she put in the drink, she said rum and juice, my friend said "the first stuff you put in" and the girl just smiled and said " you feel good, you feel good". She was right. As I stood in amazement by this place I noticed that there was nothing but panties hanging from the ceiling. This was the perfect end to an awesome retreat. We made it home, everyone got them selves organized for the full day of travel tomorrow. I'm counting on that fucking rooster to make sure I'm up in time. See you tomorrow USA.
Friday
Once again, that mother fucking rooster woke my ass up at five thirty am. That's cool though because I got plans for him before I leave this Island. We didn't really have anything planned we each kinda had a couple things left to do on our "bucket list' My last thing to do was to visit the Callwood Rum Distillery.
As we pulled in you could smell the rum. We parked in one of the couple spaces available and went inside, we were greeted by the son of the Callwood family. The Callwoods have owned the distillery that was four hundred years old for the past two hundred. He was a sharp kid with the history of the distillery. At the end of his speech the bastard talked me into a twenty dollar bottle of ten year old rum. He told us that they make a special rum using extra sugar cane for the ladies. He said they call it the pantie dropper. This kid was good, thought he would sell me one of those too. Cant see me dropping my panties so that ain't happening.
We left there did a little swimming and laid in the sun. For the most part it was an uneventfully day. It was getting to be late afternoon, we all were hungry so we went to this swim club that had a swim up bar and decided that this was where we were to have lunch. We dove in the pool without paying attention and there was no water, don't be dumb, there was water, but there was a captains safety course going on. It didn't slow us from swimming up to the bar. After a couple vodka and Tings we were ready to go sit at a table to eat. I ordered a bacon cheese burger, The waiter said "no Bacon" ok I'll have the chili cheese burger. That was the move because when we stuff all five of us in that car to head on the roller coaster of a road home, I was going to win that round of Gas Chamber. The streets were crowded both rush hour and Carnival. Carnival is the two week long festival that celebrates the emancipation of slavery in 1838. we actually saw Miss BVI drive by in a convertible waving to every one. Anyway we get home and we have a after a hard day at the beach drink. We all had some me time We all showered up and got ready to head out to Pussers Landing for dinner. The place was very nice, our table and surroundings were beautiful all up in the marina.
We ordered drinks and took a look at the menu. There was lots to choose from and with this crew it was going to be while before we would be ready to order. My sister decided to go for a walk on the docks and check out the shops. When she returned She said Ooo you got a Presidente, at first I was going to thank her for noticing then I thought "gross, that's my sister" then I realized she was talking about the beer I had ordered. Now its time to order the food.
I ordered a house Caesar salad then fish and chips. It was killer.
I forgot to get pictures of all the entree
Fish and Chips
You will just have to take my word for it , it was goooood. After we finished the waitress brought over a view finder to look at our choice of desserts in 3D.
Now this was a cruel move, your going to end up ordering something. We thought it would be smart to order some to share. We got a key Lime pie, Mud Slide pie and a Crazy Coconut.
Feeling sick from all our choices, we needed to get on home. Tomorrow is our last full day, I will try to make it more eventful than today. Then back to the states we come.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Yesterday and today
I apologize for yesterday, when we got back our Internet was down and it just came back on a little while ago. we also loose power once a day. Neither you really need but I sure like filling you in.
The Baths are a unique, a natural phenomenon, of pools and grottoes formed by enormous boulders scattered around on the sandy white beaches. This place was awesome, I know I've used awesome a lot, but if the shoe fits. We spent some time exploring this place. I think we all came out with a skin elbow or a bump on the head. But it was worth it.
We headed back to the beach, caught our ride back to where the White Squall was anchored. The first mate had made lunch, BBQ chicken, saffron rice with chunks of apple and pineapple tossed with peanuts, a garden salad and beer or rum punch. After lunch we set sail and headed for Cooper Island for the best snorkeling yet. We were greeted by a territorial barracuda that stayed deep for us to pass. School of yellow fin tuna swam across our heading. The sea floor changed from deep and grassy to a shallow reef that was full of life and color. Sea anemones, sea urchins, parrot fish in full color were all apart of this amazing show. Water logged we returned to the White Squall.
After getting everyone back in one piece we set sail back to Tortola. I was exhausted and passed out.
I woke up as we pulled into the marina. It was busy with four large sail boats doing a sailing school for high school students. They were having the time of their life, what a cool school to go to as a kid!. We got home, it was late and we were all tired from the long day of vacationing. I grilled us cheddar burgers topped with lettuce, onion, tomato and avocado, made home fried potatoes with onion, garlic and orange bell pepper and served with cold Heineken. After we ate the sounds of the night once again entranced us, one by one we stumbled off to bed.
The Willie T is a steel hulled barge that was made into a restaurant and bar that boats would come from all over to tie up to her, climb up over the side, to be indulged in food and drink. After a couple of margaritas we ordered our lunch. Started with conch fritters as an app, I had the grilled mahi caesar salad.
After this perfect lunch another storm rolled through, we used that time to have another drink and to purchase some t shirts. At this point we are called into the bar where the bartender had made us a shot ski.
A shot ski is a water ski with four shot glasses attached to it. We are feeling good now. Good music, good food, good drink, what more could we ask for, um how about my sister dancing causing captains of boats to change their destination. It was time to leave the Willie T, we will not soon forget this outstanding stop. We headed for home when another storm rolled through. This one had some lightening. I was heading for Tortola so we thought that we would get one more dive in before returning home. The Indians are a rock formation off Pelican Island. We were told that this was a great spot to snorkel. We found a mooring buoy and tied off waiting for the storm to pass far enough away to not be a threat with that lightening. We donned our equipment and went over the side into the deep blue water. We swam towards the Indians and once again the shallower waters came to life. It wasn't long till we rounded the first turn, our boat was now out of sight. We had to swim hard through a current that was fatiguing. At some point i took in some water and it caused me to choke. I pulled my mask off and coughed the water out of my lungs. Panic started to set in and my team was not around, Not sure how we got separated but now I was scared shitless. I have never been afraid of the water until this day. I found a slippery rock to stand on surrounded by large black sea urchins. I just need to catch my breath. My brother in law spotted that I was in trouble, my sister and my friend were swept off around the far end of the Indians. My brother in law made it back to me, he said to follow him back to the boat. He didn't fully understand the fear and fatigue that I had just gone through. We made it about fifty feet when I realized I could not breath, I was done. I looked up one last time out of the water and behold there was another mooring buoy within a few strokes from where I was. I latched on with all I had as my buddy went for help. It seemed like I had hung on there for an hour. I was so happy to see that boat come around the corner, I quickly swam as though my life depended on it, to meet it. I was safe. We headed home to Tortola and told our stories from each perspective, It was scary how ever you looked at it. We followed a rain squall in to Tortola, I was glad to be back on land.
Im heading to bed now thankful to be able to blog.
Yesterday
Got up early, had coffee and headed into Road Town to meet a sailboat, The White Squall, that was going to take us to Virgin Gorda where the Baths are and to Cooper Island for some awesome snorkeling. On our way to our first stop was an intense rain squall right in our path, we knew that we were in for a wet time when we saw the captain and the first mate donning foul weather gear. The rain came on us so fast and hard that it stung like I was on my motorcycle. It washed away any remnants of my hangover. As fast as it hit us, it was gone.
Today
We got up early, had our coffee. I did not wake to the rooster this morning. I was up before that loud bastard. He makes me miss my BB gun. We packed up the car with provisions needed for the trip today. Headed down to a little marina where we rented a power boat. We were headed to Norman Island for a day of hiking, snorkeling and then lunch on the Willie T then more snorkeling.
Crossing was choppy and we stayed wet from the water coming over our bow. It was not miserable like you would think, it just got us excited for all the things to come. We made it to Norman Island where we found a beautiful cove that had a bar on the beach but no one was there, no one. A rain squall come over the ridge towards where we were hanging out, we took shelter under the roof of this abandoned bar. Once again the rain stopped as fast as it had started. As the rain cleared we saw several boats coming into the lagoon where we were. Suddenly the beach was full of activities. We found the trails we wanted to hike and left the ruckus behind. We trudged up the side till we reached the top of the ridge where the rain squall had come over earlier. We were surprised at the views and the beauty that was there. Flowers, caterpillars, butterflies and birds. It was all overwhelming.
We made our way back down from the ridge, dove in the water to cool off, then back to the boat to head around the point just past the caves. We tied off to a mooring buoy and headed out to what now is the best dive that we have done. It seem that each dive is more intense with sea life. after about an hour or so, it was time for Lunch. We are heading to the Willie T.
Im heading to bed now thankful to be able to blog.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
day three
AWESOME FUCKING DAY! Here's the deal people, in order to have an awesome vacation a couple of thing are key. First and for most you need to deserve it. Second you need the right people to go, family and tight friends are key. Finally the destination is critical. Work your ass off with little or no recognition, get blamed for everything negative and get credit for nothing that may be positive. Only people worthy in you circle and OMG the place!
We got up this morning had our coffee, packed lunches, beer and the car. We had our beaching area set up by ten o'clock am. We were there before Steve (the bartender). Floated around for a bit, laid in the sun, snorkeled, that was the whole day. The tide was low and the water was for the most part flat, this made for a great day of snorkeling, animals in abundance with great visibility. Pelicans diving to feed all around us. Large fish were coming in to feed which kinda sketched me. Around 1230 we sat in some shade under the trees and had lunch. Tuna salad sandwiches with chips and beer. We hiked, swam and layed in the sun some more..
Monday, July 25, 2011
day two
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