The deep end

            I had a harsh realization about life. We wake up, drink allot of coffee, take a morning constitutional, prepare for work, go to work, find a moment to eat, go home, have a stiff drink, go to bed, wake up and repeat. Each day I wake up I have to convince myself that I like people and that they are worthy of my time. Each night before bed, as I drink my Johnny Walker Black with three ice cubes, I have to talk myself out of searching Craig's list for an automatic weapon. Then I breath deep and think of happier times and beautiful people from my past.
            I guess I was about seven years old on a hot summer day, my dad took me and my little sister, two years younger, to the public swimming pool. I remember him sitting us both down and sternly telling us to stay in the shallow end of the pool. "do not go near the deep end" he said pointing his index finger in each of our faces. We both shook our heads in acknowledgement to his stern demand, "I will be back in a little while to get you." and off he went. No sooner than we were in the water, splashing about and having a refreshing good time, my little sister suggested we go to the deep end. Had my dad not demanded that we stay in the shallow end, we probably would have never thought to go there. But the seed was planted and I was up for that adventure. I suggested that we hold onto the wall and work our way down to the deepest end of the pool. I remember there wasn't as many people there in the deep end as the shallow end and the water seemed cooler. We made to a ladder where we hung on to it over the deepest end. My sister then had a dare for me. she said " I bet you wont hold your breath, go under the water and open your eyes." That was a dare I was willing to take! So I took a deep breath, held my nose and went under the deep warm water. Why was the water warm?  When I opened my eyes, I saw I was in a cloud of yellow. I screamed an air bubbly scream that only submerged people could hear as I saw were her little feet climbing up the ladder leaving the pool.
              I'm in my fifties now and I still haven't figured out an appropriate pay back. Its remains on my bucket list still to this day.

A ruff month

           I had a ruff month and I have lost the ability to concentrate. The recovery from the motor cycle accident has been slow and painful. I forced myself back to work against my Doctors orders to stay off my leg. But I couldn't stand laying around any more. I got a cane and hobbled off to work.
            It was a normal slow Tuesday night that was uneventful, almost boring. The staff was hurrying to finish up their work so they could get out of there. I had finished my weekly bar inventory and down loaded it into the office computer. I went back out to the dining room to check behind the remaining couple of wait staff making sure every ones work was done. The last two cooks, a waitress and the bartender clocked out and left the building leaving a waiter, the dish washer and me. The waiter and I were both finished and were shooting the shit while we waited for the dish guy to finish up. We were standing near the bar and I was showing the waiter my intense wound on my leg from the accident. we both heard someone come in through the to go door which was locked. I saw a man with a black hoody and a black mask come around the corner. I said " are you serious?" he kept walking towards us. I asked again " are you serious?" he walked straight up to me and stuck a gun inches from my face and demanded money. I had to ask again if he was serious and he replied that he was going to fucking shoot me if i didn't get him the money. Shoving us threw the double doors with his free hand leading us to the office. He was caught off guard when he saw the dishwasher who hadn't noticed yet that we were getting held up because he had his headphones on. This freaked the robber out and made him very agitated. He reached over and with one swift move flung the dish guy over to were we were standing. The robber pushing us down the hallway towards the office. He instructed me to go in the office and open the safe. I was confused and started to realize that this was a for real robbery. I told the guy to calm down that he was confusing me. This pissed him off and he shoved the other two guys to the floor, pointed the gun at them and said if I didn't get the fucking safe open he was going to kill my friends right then. I remembered the safe code and told him once again to calm down, that I would get him the money. I got the safe open and pulled the cash drawers out. He threw me a nylon draw string bag and told me to put all the money in it. I did as i was instructed. He asked if that was everything and I assured him that it was. He told us to put our cell phones on the shelf in the hallway and pushed us towards the walk in refrigerator. He told us to get in and asked if we wanted to go home tonight. "You all can go home tonight if you stay in here for twenty minutes."  We agreed to the conditions, waited about fifteen seconds til he was out of sight and jumped out of the walk in, grabbed our phones and called the police.
             The armed robber was never caught. This leaving me jump, constantly looking over my shoulder and wondering wtf!