Why a Spoon?

            I wish I could go a day with out dealing with people that have no class, but pretend they do. I mean whats the point. You either have it or you don't. Talking with your mouth full and complaining about things, so you don't have to pay what you owe, will instantly shut down your scam. Not that you haven't already been figured out the second you came through the door. If I wonder if you have a mirror at home and know how to use it, the class thing is out the window. Nothing like being called to a table and there you sit with that look on your face as though you too could smell that smell inside your trailer. Then you speak as though I'm beneath you. That's what makes me smile. That's what makes me love my job. If you think for one second that I'm listening to your rambling bull shit, your wrong, I'm envisioning me reaching down to your table and grabbing a spoon then thrusting it into your neck to shut you up. Now your probable wondering why a spoon? Because it will hurt more!
             I was called to a table that drank their whole bottle of wine and found something in the bottom of the bottle and in the bottom of the last glass poured. Two women sat at the table, one white one black, wearing there 70's outfits and hairdos that were even ugly for the 70's. The white one dramatically showed me the debris in the bottle and her glass. I told her that that was nothing, that wines sometime have tannins in them that are part of the wine. The black one now fires up. "TANNINS...TANNINS!" she barks. " I have been drinking wine my whole life and never heard of such a thing." There was an uncomfortable silent moment where I was waiting for them to say what they wanted or  was I daydreaming about the spoon on the table. Anyway I asked if the wine tasted bad, after all you two drank the entire bottle dry!. The white one said "that's not the point!" Then I said "I guess the point is that you two don't want to pay for the wine." They both responded with a nod and one of them said "that would be nice". I smiled at them, because they both had purple stained lips and I imagined that it was from blowing Barny (the big purple dinosaur).  As I left the table, the black lady turned to the table behind her where an older black man was sitting. She felt it necessary to show the stranger what was in the glass. He stood and turned to the table and told them that he was a bartender most of his life and that what I told them was fact. I wanted to hug the man, he was better than the spoon, He definitely hurt more. The two women left, not feeling as good about things as they wanted. I was happy that they were gone.